The Perks of being a Wallflower

I have just finished rereading Perks for a school project and I have fallen in love with it all over again. The first time I read it was just before getting into high school. I have been meaning to reread it for a bit now and I’m so glad that I have finally gotten around to it. It’s coming of age tale is filled with smiles and laughs and cries.

I think that this book explains teenage in the best way possible. I relate to this quote in particular, ” I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.” It’s true we are happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. This book is rather simply written. This emphasises that we don’t need fancy words to convey deep emotions. And this novel is a rollercoaster of emotions.

This story revolves around a group of oddballs. The protagonist, Charlie is probably the weirdest of the lot. They have no intentions or desires of fitting in. I think that it is important to know that its okay to be different in a generation that is so consumed with fitting in. Teenagers are often trying to stand apart yet fit into groups. We want to find ourselves yet we more concerned with what others think of us and not of what we think of ourselves.

I also have this weird theory about Aunt Helen, I don’t think that she got into an accident I think that she killed herself. Her life was terrible enough for her to do it and maybe she couldn’t live with the guilt that she had become the very thing that she hated. And her dying was Charlie’s present.

Anyways I think that rereading this book has really cleared up some stuff for me and has given me further insight into the beautifully written story and its complex characters. I think that every teenager should read this book because it is so relatable and it describes teenage in the best way and most apt way possible. It’s like a spilled pallet of paint. I also felt like Charlie was actually my friend, and I think that that’s got a lot to do with the way the book has been written.

And I like Charlie maybe want to write when I grow up and we both don’t know what we would write. I really love this quote “Standing on the fringes of life… offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.” And I think that both Charlie and I need to get on the dance floor and start dancing.

My Biggest Weakness

We had to fill out a questionnaire in school where one of the questions was what do we consider our greatest weakness. That got me thinking, I think that my biggest problem is that I’m not ambitious at all. It’s not that I set myself up for failure but my attitude towards any competition is that if I win great but if don’t even that’s alright. For me, being second best has always been good enough.

This may not seem like a big weakness but I think that in this day and age a go-getter attitude is absolutely necessary to succeed. Recently I have been trying to push myself more and telling myself that I can be the best if I just work hard enough.

Funnily enough, I couldn’t think of this when answering the question in school. So I wrote that I get nervous when speaking on stage or in front of crowds. It’s not that I don’t get nervous but it is something that can get over. All it does is make me speak really fast.

On Being Indecisive

Today, I decided to skip breakfast just because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat. If this doesn’t show you how indecisive I can get, I don’t know what will. Now at my age there are expectations, I should at least have an inkling of what I want to do for the rest my life, at least narrow down my career options. But how am I, somebody who cannot decide what to eat for breakfast supposed to make decisions that may significantly affect my future.

The worst part is that there are so many people in my class who know exactly what they want, they have even begun working towards their goals. The career counselling sessions haven’t been of much help, they have just further impressed upon me what I don’t want to do with my life rather than tell me what I want to do.

Giving in my subject options for next year is proving to be more difficult than I ever imagined, thankfully I have a couple of months left to decide. It’s the bigger decisions that are scarring me, as of now I have no idea what I want to do tomorrow forget about knowing what I will want to do ten years later. For now this is all I can say                                                                                                                     “I’m not sure what I’ll do, but-well I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.”                                   F. Scott Fitzgerald.